“Hey, it’s Kelly Killoren Bensimon, and we’re in Vegas. We’re on our way to the airport, but I just had to make a little quick stop at American Shooters and shoot a handgun. Crazy. The bullets were flying everywhere, and I actually have a newfound respect for cops and Angelina Jolie. She’s, like, a hardass who needs her own television show. So here’s to all you rockin’ women that are, like, shooting guns and, like, Angelina Jolie.”
And just to prove that I didn’t make this up, here’s the link to the video. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried, believe me.
If you follow KKB on Twitter, you’ll notice her newest prospective BFF is Angelina Jolie. Kwazy wants Angie baaad. After all, Angie HAS to be far more interesting than Kwazy’s old “BFF”, Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwynnie’s not a bad actress, but, in her “real life” appearances, she’s like watching paint dry.
Course, Angelina Jolie is a pacifist/humanitarian who has probably never fired a real gun in her life and abhors violence, and wouldn’t want a gun toting whackjob like Kwazy any closer to her than the space it would take to fit a cop between them…but Kwazy never lets reality figure in her reasoning anyway.
I think Angelina Jolie should get her own television series, too. I mean, why earn umpteen millions of dollars per feature film using a prop gun and pretending to hit stuff, when she could make less money and work more hours in television?
Guns kill people, Kelly. I’m sure you think that’s “rockin’” too.
Oh, sorry, Kelly, I forgot about you and big words. A hu-ma-ni-tar-i-an is someone who is genuinely charitable, instead of just using photos from step and repeats to appear that way.
(And I’ll bet $5.00 that “humanitarian” appears in the very near future in Kwazy’s tweets. She does like to assimilate words.)